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fingers whispering sound

sirius/harry and other perversions

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"Intimidation Tactics", Harry, Ron, (Hermione/Ron), PG
Title: Intimidation Tactics
Author: [personal profile] phoenixtears
Characters/Pairings: Harry, Ron, (Hermione/Ron)
Rating: PG
Words: 100x2
Summary: Harry psychs Ron up to finally kiss Hermione.
Notes: Written for [community profile] harry100's prompt: Intimidate

“What are you going to do?”

Ron rubbed his hands on his pants. “K-kiss her.”

“And how are you going to kiss her?” Harry circled Ron like a boxing coach.


“And where do your hands go?”

“Cup the face or…”

“Or what, Ronald Weasley!” Harry was really getting into his part. His smile was half seething grimace.

“Face or lower back,” Ron said in relief.

Harry’s shouting made him stand at attention again. “”And what don’t you do?”

“Uh, lick her chin?”


“Grab ass?”



“That’s right!” Harry said. Then he clapped his friend on the back.

“Do you really think I can do this?” Ron asked earnestly.

Harry straightened his collar for him. “Bloody right,” he said. Then, knowing it was best to keep the intimidation high and get his adrenaline pumping, Harry pulled him in by the lapels. “What’s the mission,” he growled.

“Kiss Hermione Granger.”

“And how do we feel?”

“Brilliant,” Ron squeaked.

“I can’t hear you, you tosser!”

Ron swallowed. “Bloody brilliant! We feel bloody brilliant!”

Harry let him go. “That’s more like it.”

Ron turned to head down to the Gryffindor common room.

Harry rubbed his temples. “Merlin, help us all.”